because others may have it worse doesn't mean you don't have it bad!"
I have a habit of
indulging in extended metaphors, and one came to me last night as I was waiting for the meds to kick in and put me to sleep
that you guys might appreciate.
So, we all have that dresser in our room with stuff on
the top. Some of us keep it clean, some of us just pile stuff on, but we basically know what is there, and how to find things
on it. When you have a chronic illness it is like someone is going around behind your back and messing around with the stuff
on your dresser. Things are moved around or missing. It takes longer to find things - if you find them at all. For a while
you can't even figure out if you are immagining it all. But deep down you know that something is wrong and hopefully you can
get someone to believe you and help you figure out how to work through it. Or work around it. And sometimes someone comes
behind your back and removes everything so it is obvious to everyone that something is wrong.
So, we all get up and try to find the energy to get through
the day and do what we have to do, but sometimes that energy is missing. We have to spend all morning finding a matching set
of earings so we can go out without looking lopsided. We learn that we can't live with extra stress - if we are people with
lots of stress cluttering our dresser top we clean it out so it is easier to find the energy we need when we need it.
OK, this sounded really insightful in my head at midnight,
but I don't know if I translated it well this morning. It is important to remember that just like you know what is on your
dresser at home, you know what is going on in your own body. If something is messing around with it, you are the best person
to know. It may take some time to find the proof so someone believes you, and you may never find out who/what is at fault,
and you probably will have to do some personal decluttering to rule out other causes, but if you think something is wrong,
then it might not all be in your head and there might really be something wrong.
Oh well, time to get back to my own decluttering. The
non-metaphor messy dresser top upstairs is bugging me now :)