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I'm a RHPS (Rocky Horror Picture Show),late night movies and science fiction fan. I like the older science fiction before 'fantasy'. Lupus and me As with most when I think back I beleive I have had lupus most of my life. But no one was ever able to catch the 'great imatior' until 1998. After several career changes (in thinking back-lupus) I was upwardly mobile and doing well. No unidentified illnesses. I wanted to make sure that my fiscal planning for the future was in order. We had twins in college. My husband had retired from teaching (no more university picnics and Christmas galas). I had retired from teaching high school English Speech Drama and Theatre long ago and went to worked for the goverment teaching. After several years and before my plans were finished I had what I call THE FLARE. not only had lupus invaded several systems and my hypertension was out of hand but one of those systems was my brain-lupus cerberitis. It seemed a normal day, but I wasn't at work for more than a half an hour before I sat down to type my registnation. My work skills seemed to become non-existant, what I read I couldn't comprehend. I didn't know names, I couldn't add or subtract, I flt that I was losing my balance sitting in my chair. What I was thinking was not what I was saying and I couldn't find the words to express myself. It seem to take forever to type" I feel I must resign..." without glaring mistakes. I finally resorted to the one finger method. I don't remember if I drove home or my husband came and got me. There is a lot about that time I'll never remember! I do remember that before the day was out I was in the hospital! I didn't even remember it was my doctorate and MBA graduation! As time has gone on the swelling has disappated but there are still I can't remember, say, or do for long. Physical and Occupitial Therapy now I realize that I was so depressed they did me almost no good. My balance and memory were off and I couldn't cut out a circle-here I was a Phd-I didn't need reminding of things I couldn't do or instructions I couldn't remember. My husband still makes out checks for me-I forget who I'm writing it to and can't spell for how much-thank the Lord for bank cards-as long as they don't as for a pin number! I don't read as often as I did. A book that only took me hours before can take a week and then there are still words and passagages I don't seem to comprehend. I walk now with fewer chances of falling but not very far. My financial plans went into the relm of lost dreams. The boys got jobs and joined the milatery not college.